GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE November 19, 1999

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TO THE OLD HOUSE" KIRBY

Too CUTE 1999 ROBERT "BACK YEARS AGO, IN THE DAYS WHEN I WAS A PENCIL-NECKED GEEK, I HAD SORT OF A SHORT FUSE. NOT THE LEAST OF MY "ISSUES" WAS WITH THE WHOLE BEAUTY THING...

BUS STOP

BY ROBERT KIRBY

I NOTICED IT, I CRAVED IT, BUT HATED IT AT THE SAME TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

DET

SNOTTY PRICK DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.

BU

STO

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THE FEW FRIENDS I'D BEEN ABLE TO MAKE IN COLLEGE DIDN'T HELP MATTERS MUCH. THEY WERE CUTER THAN ME AND HAD ANNOYINGLY HIGH STANDARDS.

I DUNNO, I THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE WHEN HE ASKED ME OUT, BUT HE'S GOT A BIT OF A BELLY ON HIM....

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE THEN, TO THE REACTION I HAD WHEN A GUY FROM MY WRITER'S GROUP STARTED SPEWING LAST WEEK....

I HATE GAY CULTURE..LOOK AT THESE MUSCLE-HUNKS PLASTERED ALL OVER EVERY PAGE OF THIS THING, DICTATING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE AS A GAY MAN!

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KEITH IS GOOD IN BED BUT HE'S A BIT TOO SKINNY FOR ME TO REALLY FALL FOR HIM.

WELL, YOU GOTTA ADMIT HE'S GOT AWESOME NIPPLES.. I'D DO HIM IN A NEW YORK MINUTE.

EXCUSE ME?

EXCUSE ME NOTHING-HE'S BEAUTIFUL!II LIKE LOOKING

AT HIM.

I JOINED A GYM RECENTLY. I FEEL LIKE MAYBE I'M GROWING UP AT LAST. MY INNER PENCIL-NECKED GEEK TELLS ME I'VE SOLD OUT:SO WHICH DO YOU THINK IS RIGHT? GOD, YOU'RE A LIVING, BREATHING, CLONE CLICHE.

HEY, I'M STILL A FREAK AND STUFF... I JUST WANNA FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS ALL...

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HE'D BE KINDA CUTE •IF HE WASN'T ALWAYS TALKING TO HIMSELF

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